Before you have a child, you don’t realize how much of a full-time job parenthood is. People tell you how hard being a mom is, but until you have a child of your own, you don’t realize how much time and effort it takes to bring up a child. Of course, all the stress that comes with parenthood is totally outweighed by the love that you have for your child. Life might be stressful at times, but that doesn’t mean that you would have it any other way.
However, that being said, just because you love being a parent, that doesn’t mean that at times you don’t struggle knowing how to cope with everything that parenthood brings. There are some parts of parenthood that are harder than others and can leave you questioning your ability as a parent. The good news is that no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it, it’s just a case of going about it in the right way. Whether you’re parenting with a partner or going solo, you can cope with anything that motherhood brings.
To help you to do that, here are some tips for dealing with the harder parts of parenthood. Take these on board, and you can make family life much easier and less stressful to navigate.
Don’t worry about being a perfect mom
A lot of parents worry about being perfect when it comes to raising their kids, but this is silly. Raising a child isn’t about doing it in a certain way or getting things right 100 percent of the time. Parenthood is a learning curve, so don’t stress about being perfect. So what if your child has a takeaway once in a while or if you feed them white bread every so often, it doesn’t matter. Yes, serving them healthy meals is important, but if every so often you buy a ready meal, that doesn’t make you a bad parent. Neither does sticking your child in front of the TV for an hour while you do housework. Today, there’s far too much emphasis on being a perfect parent and making us feel bad about our parenting methods. Remember, how you choose to parent is up to you, don’t let other parents make you feel bad. You get to choose how you bring up your child, and as long as they’re happy and healthy, that’s all that matters. Forget what other people think, how you raise your child is completely up to you. So don’t feel pressured into acting a certain way, be proud of how you choose to parent.
Do lots of reading
When a problem arises, whether it’s issues with potty training your toddler or your Kindergartener being bullied, the best answer is reading. Honestly, you would be amazed at how much you can learn from taking some time out to research a problem. Whatever the issue, there’s bound to be advice on it. If there aren’t any books that give you the guidance that you need, mommy blogs such as Tummy2Mummy, for instance, can be useful resources. Parenting blogs are useful because often, they include real-life examples that make working through specific problems easier. As well as reading up, if you’re worried about something to do with your child, ask other parents. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, and it’s so true. By talking to other parents about the issue that’s bothering you – whatever it may be – you will probably feel much better. Plus, the chances are that you’ll get some helpful advice. If you don’t have any friends to talk to about a problem, parenting groups on Facebook can be great for getting advice from. You could even post anonymously, should you not feel comfortable with people knowing who you are. Remember, parenthood is a learning curve, so reading up when you are worried or unsure is a must.
Talk to your child
One of the best ways to make any problems easier is to be a parent that talks to their child and listens to what they have to say. Whatever the issue, whether your child is struggling at school or behaving badly at home, talking to them is important. A lot of parents simply deal with issues by trying to find a solution themselves. For instance, if there’s a problem at school, they’ll go in and see the teacher without talking to their child first. However, if you actually take the time to talk to your child and ask them what’s going on, you should find dealing with these types of problems easier. For example, when there’s a problem at school, often there’s a reason for it, so talking to your child will allow you to get a better understanding of what’s going on. Of course, in order for your child to be happy to talk you about things, it’s important to ensure that you always tell them that they can talk to you about anything.
Learn not to stress
Studies have shown that parents who get stressed out easily, have a tendency to pass this trait onto their children. So unless you want to have a child that becomes stressed out and anxious easily, it’s important to try not to stress too much. Admittedly, some things will cause you to stress, but the key is not to get too wound up. It’s important to remember that whatever the problem, be it that your child is refusing to eat or that they haven’t got any friends, there is always a solution, it’s just a case of finding it. Panicking about the situation won’t make things any better, in fact, that chances are that it will just make things worse. So try to become a parent who stresses less. When things get too much take a step back and spend a few minutes deep breathing – you would be amazed at how effective this method is for reducing stress. Take a deep breath in through your nose, wait two seconds and then release it through your mouth. You’ll find that after doing this, you will feel much calmer and less stressed, and will be able to deal with problems more easily.
Take time out for yourself
A lot of moms make the mistake of not taking time out for themselves. However, if you want to be the best mom that you can be and be better equipped to deal with whatever parenthood may throw at you, you need to take time out for yourself. Whether you take a few minutes out each day or a couple of hours each week, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you make time for yourself, as well as for being a mom. Go for a walk, meet with your friends, attend a yoga class – do whatever you want to. Aim to take time out a couple of times a week so that you are able to relax and unwind. You will find that by taking time out for yourself on a regular basis that you are better equipped to deal with any problems that may occur. This is because you will be calmer and less stressed.
Laugh when life gets tough
When life gets tough, choose to laugh instead of crying. When your car breaks down in the pouring rain in the middle of nowhere, choose to laugh at the situation and make a joke out of it. It’s amazing how a light-hearted approach can make situations that would otherwise be a nightmare, much more enjoyable. Yes, it is annoying that your car has broken down, but it’s not the end of the world is it? Say, for instance, your child draws all over your newly painted walls, try not to get upset, instead see the humor in the situation. Life as a parent isn’t always easy, which is why laughing is important. A situation might suck, but the truth is you can’t change what’s happened, all you can do is choose how you deal with it. Yes, you could curl up and cry, or you could laugh at the situation and make things a little better. Sometimes you have to laugh. Otherwise, you will just end up crying. Yes, sometimes parenthood sucks, but what it’s important to remember is that every bad situation passes, so try not to stress too much.
Being a parent has it’s ups and downs, and it’s important to realize that. Of course, although there are bad times that come with being a parent, your child is your world, and you wouldn’t change them for anything. However, that doesn’t mean that at times, you don’t struggle with being a mom. Don’t be afraid to admit that at times, parenthood is hard; every parent has felt how you feel, so there’s no need to be embarrassed or upset. To make those tricky parts of parenthood a little easier, take note of the tips and advice above. Believe it or not, doing this should help to make your life as a mom easier.
Lynne B says
After my second child was born, I remember thinking that all I wanted was the house to myself once in awhile. Nothing crazy, just to be by myself with the quiet. At the time though, I didn’t feel like I could ask for it.
Lynne Chambers says
I love the pictures that you shared! Your article is so spot on, the ups the downs somehow you get through it all!
Lynne B says
One of the very first challenges that I experienced was when my first-born went through one of his first growth spurts and wanted to feed every few hours. I don’t think I slept for 24 hours.