Typically I like to keep our blog upbeat. I like to celebrate the positives. But I just have to get this off my chest. Peyton has been having an issue with a 1st grader for some time now. This 1st grader has a history of picking on little girls. By picking on I mean – hitting, kicking and threatening little girls. Girls younger than him. This week he PUNCHED Peyton, a kindergartner, in the chest and the school did NOTHING. They didn’t even tell me about it. Peyton was the one to inform me of it.
Like any parent, I went to the school to see what they were going to do about it. Supposedly they did an investigation and spoke with his parents. Or at least that was what I was under the impression that happened. Supposedly it was an accident. Today when I pick Peyton up from school she informs me that this same boy threatened to punch her in the face at lunch. Really?
I had spent the morning with the school administration, after school care staff and district staff about this child’s behavior. I was assured it was handled. And now I find out he threatened her again! Clearly the school was not taking this seriously.
I decided to reach out to the child’s parent. Maybe they had no clue what was going on? Maybe they did not know their son was abusing little girls? Maybe they would have some compassion and want to remedy the situation? At least that’s what I was hoping for. Well, that’s not the response I received.
Instead, I was instantly greeted with hostility. The mom was EXTREMELY defensive and rude from the second she said hello. Told me I had called her on her work number and she was working. Trying to act like she was sooo important. I apologized and explained I had gotten her number out of the student directory and I just needed a few moments of her time.
She was RUDE. She didn’t believe her son would do this because all he does is play with little girls. He doesn’t play with little boys. Really?? Then she went on to say she has three boys and sometimes boys get physical. That boys will be boys and I needed to roll with it. She was more upset that I called her child out than about fixing the behavior. Then she went on how school is out in a few days so who cares. Well, these kids are going to be together next year. And if your child is a bully don’t you think you should start working on it now??
I guess in their house it’s ok to hit girls. It’s ok to threaten others. And after talking to the mother I completely understand why her child behaves the way he does. Look at his role model. She has already made it clear that it’s ok for him to get physical with others because he’s a boy. Well guess what? It’s not ok.
Just because you have three boys does not make it ok for them to go around hitting others. I don’t care if you have ten boys. A boy should be taught it is NOT appropriate to lay his hands on a girl. It’s never ok to threaten to punch a little girl. Because this little boy is going to grow up, he will feel it is ok to punch his girlfriend or beat his wife because his mother condoned his behavior all through school. We will have her to thank for this. She has not taught her sons how to treat a lady.
Now it’s not just mom’s fault. Dad has a responsibility too. But it looks like he’s too busy working in the hospitality industry to be aware of his son’s behavior. We wonder why there is so much physical violence against women. Well here’s part of the problem. We don’t teach our children when they are little it’s not ok to hit. We tell them boys will be boys.
Your boy will not be a boy with my daughter. Your boy will not lay his hands on my daughter. Your boy will not threaten to hit/punch/kick or hurt my daughter. I will hold your boy accountable. I will call the police. I will call social services. I will file the bully paperwork with the school. I will call the department of education and report him for the abuse of other students. I will PROTECT my child from yours.
I gave you a chance. I gave you the opportunity to step up and be a parent. But you were not interested. You went on about how you are self-employed and needed to get back to work and how you work from home. Really? It was dinner time. Who’s feeding the boys? Who’s helping them with homework? Since you are above dealing with your child’s behavior issues I will help you out. I will contact the appropriate authorities EVERY SINGLE TIME your son threatens or hits my child. Maybe when the police show up on your doorstep you’ll start to take this seriously.
If your child or loved one has been a victim of bullying or has other mental health issues here is a great resource. Check out the Parents Guide: How To Help Your Team Cope With Mental Health Issues. This is a resource to help us parents navigate and help our children through adolecents.
elizabeth warren says
Jeena Bittenbender says
It’s not ok to threaten it punch anyone at any time. I had a neighbor boy that use to pull my hair. When I say pull, I mean drag me by my hair. His parents could care less. It took me a year to take matters into my own hands. Punched him dead in his face. He cried all the way home. Never touched me again.
I say it starts at home. The whole boys will be boys thing just sickens me, it is an excuse. You handled it very well. As a mom of a little boy if he hit anyone outside of self defense I would definitely discipline him. He is only a toddler but he bit a little girl and yes he was disciplined for that. I am so sorry for that happening. But I was bullied , badly as a kid, and the schools never did anything. At all. If it continues call the police for sure.
This is really appalling behavior for a young child.
Esperanza Gailliard says
Violence is no good in a school environment, neither is bullying of any kind!
April Roods says
Bullying is excused by “boys will be boys mentality”. Our kids need a safe space.
“Boys will be boys” leads to physical assault, rape and violence against others (men, women, children, etc.). I have two boys and in no way would I condone this behaviour… This parent should be ashamed! I and mean she should be shamed publically… I find that many people these days are selfish, narcissistic, a-holes that don’t care about anyone but themselves (including their own children). I would go to the school, administration or the board directly to have this handled, and especially if they are not taking this seriously.
I had a child that was bullied by another, older boy last year. The school’s lack of response, the other parents’ lack of caring, and the physical violence escalating had be go straight to the board with my lawyers and threats of going to the media. They responded pretty quickly after that… I have no patience for this type of BS and especially from neglectful administrators (who care about their own “skins”) and shitty parents.
cassandra m says
I have no idea why this attitude still exists! Violence no matter who it is should be handled with appropriately. It is so easy for this behavior to be corrected when kids are young. It should also be a concern to the parents why a child would want to act out violently in any situation. While hurting someone is a serious issue , it is also a serious issue as to why the child who is acting out violently is doing so to begin with. it shows an inability to cope with emotions. this may regulate itself. however why leave it up to chance! teach the child how to handle emotions and why acting out in this way is wrong for all parties including themselves!
We are having so many problems with my 8 y/o boy, in school right now. And I feel like I get the same response from our school. They keep telling me they are doing something, but it keeps happening! I was told they can’t do anything until something happens, and then they can turn it into a learning experience. It’s like shut the front door, my kids would never dream of putting their hands on a classmate! We also get the excuses, like one of the problem children are special ed. I DON’T CARE! That does not make it ok for that child to put their hands on my son (hitting him). If the special needs child can’t properly function on his own in the classroom then the school needs to do more to protect my child (like a full time aid).