Typically I like to keep our blog upbeat. I like to celebrate the positives. But I just have to get this off my chest. Peyton has been having an issue with a 1st grader for some time now. This 1st grader has a history of picking on little girls. By picking on I mean – hitting, kicking and threatening little girls. Girls younger than him. This week he PUNCHED Peyton, a kindergartner, in the chest and the school did NOTHING. They didn’t even tell me about it. Peyton was the one to inform me of it.
Like any parent, I went to the school to see what they were going to do about it. Supposedly they did an investigation and spoke with his parents. Or at least that was what I was under the impression that happened. Supposedly it was an accident. Today when I pick Peyton up from school she informs me that this same boy threatened to punch her in the face at lunch. Really?
I had spent the morning with the school administration, after school care staff and district staff about this child’s behavior. I was assured it was handled. And now I find out he threatened her again! Clearly the school was not taking this seriously.
I decided to reach out to the child’s parent. Maybe they had no clue what was going on? Maybe they did not know their son was abusing little girls? Maybe they would have some compassion and want to remedy the situation? At least that’s what I was hoping for. Well, that’s not the response I received.
Instead, I was instantly greeted with hostility. The mom was EXTREMELY defensive and rude from the second she said hello. Told me I had called her on her work number and she was working. Trying to act like she was sooo important. I apologized and explained I had gotten her number out of the student directory and I just needed a few moments of her time.
She was RUDE. She didn’t believe her son would do this because all he does is play with little girls. He doesn’t play with little boys. Really?? Then she went on to say she has three boys and sometimes boys get physical. That boys will be boys and I needed to roll with it. She was more upset that I called her child out than about fixing the behavior. Then she went on how school is out in a few days so who cares. Well, these kids are going to be together next year. And if your child is a bully don’t you think you should start working on it now??
I guess in their house it’s ok to hit girls. It’s ok to threaten others. And after talking to the mother I completely understand why her child behaves the way he does. Look at his role model. She has already made it clear that it’s ok for him to get physical with others because he’s a boy. Well guess what? It’s not ok.
Just because you have three boys does not make it ok for them to go around hitting others. I don’t care if you have ten boys. A boy should be taught it is NOT appropriate to lay his hands on a girl. It’s never ok to threaten to punch a little girl. Because this little boy is going to grow up, he will feel it is ok to punch his girlfriend or beat his wife because his mother condoned his behavior all through school. We will have her to thank for this. She has not taught her sons how to treat a lady.
Now it’s not just mom’s fault. Dad has a responsibility too. But it looks like he’s too busy working in the hospitality industry to be aware of his son’s behavior. We wonder why there is so much physical violence against women. Well here’s part of the problem. We don’t teach our children when they are little it’s not ok to hit. We tell them boys will be boys.
Your boy will not be a boy with my daughter. Your boy will not lay his hands on my daughter. Your boy will not threaten to hit/punch/kick or hurt my daughter. I will hold your boy accountable. I will call the police. I will call social services. I will file the bully paperwork with the school. I will call the department of education and report him for the abuse of other students. I will PROTECT my child from yours.
I gave you a chance. I gave you the opportunity to step up and be a parent. But you were not interested. You went on about how you are self-employed and needed to get back to work and how you work from home. Really? It was dinner time. Who’s feeding the boys? Who’s helping them with homework? Since you are above dealing with your child’s behavior issues I will help you out. I will contact the appropriate authorities EVERY SINGLE TIME your son threatens or hits my child. Maybe when the police show up on your doorstep you’ll start to take this seriously.
If your child or loved one has been a victim of bullying or has other mental health issues here is a great resource. Check out the Parents Guide: How To Help Your Team Cope With Mental Health Issues. This is a resource to help us parents navigate and help our children through adolecents.